Quiet meditation, soft music, deep breathing, calm blue ocean – MY FLAT ASS! If any of this crap worked people wouldn’t overeat, get drunk, or peel out of the driveway.

Let’s call meditation by it’s real world moniker – stewing. Soft music (and to a greater degree cheery pop) does not soothe, but rather irritates the crap out of me when I’m angry. The sound makes me want to ram my minivan into the nearest peacenik Vanigan. Deep breathing only helps in that it allows one to yell louder, longer.

Food, booze, and speed go much further to quell the beast inside.