Happy Birthday to Me!

For some reason I dressed all in shades of brown with black and white highlights today. I likely look like a monkey, but as my big bro points out, I don’t have to smell like one too. I could shower. But I didn’t, because it’s my birthday and I didn’t want to. Happy birthday to me, I live in a zoo, I look like a monkey, and I smell like one too. Oh, wouldn’t it be awful if I smelled like “one/TWO”? Eegads! Then again, I’d fit in at the park where I cruse the homeless cliques in my never ending search for a good source of TB.

I also didn’t want to drive the kids to school so the hubster did it. I stayed in my jammies until 9:30 in the a. to the m. Then I bought myself a full-fat iced mocha from a local joint who gave me a 15% discount on account of how awesome I am (and how I rocked my Catcard). Heck, for all I know the coffee wasn’t even Fair Trade and it came in a one-time use (but recyclable) plastic cup that didn’t even drip on my shirt. Afterward, I went to my son’s school on the premise that I would train to volunteer in the library. I was really only going to hang out with Anna who was casual cool in a Japanese coy T. We went to lunch.

Food was a big part of my big dia. I got some backyard tomaters from Molly and popsicles for FOUR kids plus myself from Kathy and hung out with Cassandra and Yvonne. Then Todd-o and Jesse took me and the ankle biters out for dinner. YUM-O and no dishes bitches! Please excuse my tone. I think my husband’s near beer has gone to my head. Luckily, he limited himself at one. That was his joke, btw. He’s hilarious.

Even the chickens helped me celebrate. They each gave me a perfectly shaped and colored egg. Thoughtfully, Flower treated me to an egg from the nest and not one randomly left in cacti or the coop floor. Jesse’s aunt sent me a pewter photo frame and of course my grandmother sent me a check for $25. Kari sent me a cardi and so did the dentist and a restaurant. My dad wished me happy birthday on his blog and my mother sent me a “card is in the mail” e-mail. I live a fat life!

Finally, because it’s my birthday, I’m not going to bother with “visual interest” on my blog. Now it’s time to leave you now (right bro?).

6 thoughts on “Happy Birthday to Me!

  1. Anonymous says:

    Aw, I didn’t know you had a birthday. Well, I mean, I’m sure on some level I realized you must HAVE a birthday somewhere on the calender. I didn’t realize your birthday was yesterday.

    Happy Birthday.

    Isn’t it nice that the dentist sends Happy wishes? Mine does too. It’s so good to know they care so deeply about us.

    So, welcome to the closer-to-forty side of your thirties. It’s lots of fun! Zits and wrinkles on the same skin. Gray hairs showing up in places other than the top of your head. More and more joints that make noise when you move. An increased need for elastic waistbands. Gravity-induced sagging of formerly perky bits. An inability to sit down, stand up or bend over without grunting. Oh, shoot me now!


  2. populistpugilist says:

    I think I only knew your birthday in 1999. After that the kids came along and I think you got bumped from the Ballenger Birthday folder in my memory (it’s a very small memory). At any rate, you sound like you’re in an extraordinarily good mood so it must have been as great as you deserve. Happy belated birthday.

  3. Ash says:

    So I guess typing this little note after your birthday somehow equates to being a good and caring friend or relative in our backwards culture.

    “Look at me, I was already on the internet doing something important and I spent three minutes of that important time writing this.”

    You have been honored.

    (and if they knew, probably Jennifer and Liam too.)

  4. Anonymous says:

    Crap. I missed wishing you a happy birthday. My bad. It sure sounded sucessful…I want someone to take my kids to school for me!!!


    PS Why can’t the Capcha ever be like TARDY-MR2L8. OR BABIES-CMPN?

  5. Lane Boyz Mom says:

    Well Happy Belated Birthday…sounds like you had a good one:)

    I hope mine in December allows me to be in the same happy mood you are in…although I somewhat doubt it, it’s the big FOUR OH *gasp*

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