A Bird Pooped on My Head

This is regurgitated from my old blog, which has privacy settings as I still like to be saucy and only care for my good buddies to know it. For this reason, the repost is somewhat edited – okay a lot edited. I hope it still makes sense. I wanted to post it because I ran across a blog that is freakishly familiar. Of course I could change my standard template, but that requires free brain cells. And anyway, what’s really similar is the random musings of mothers. Her recent post is about PTA power trips, but my immediate connection is about bird poo.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Although Jesse and I are both unemployed, we managed to swing a new Mac Book and a shiny red Jeep. After using my new Mac Book to finish a laborious proposal to fund the position I wish I had and then jumping in the shiny red Jeep with my recently heroed husband, a bird pooped on my head. And here I go again with my fantasy/reality struggle.

In the fantasy, a bird poops on your head and it’s good luck. The reality is that you have to wash your recently “done” do. What’s lucky about that? The fantasy of the shiny red Jeep with the top down is pretty much busted at that point too. The promise of employment and a flashy computer fade into oblivion once a bird poops on your head.

Not long ago, Jesse and I witnessed a maintenance wife in her shiny black Cadillac Escalade. On every level, a well-coiffed, well-appointed trophy wife is the ultimate fantasy for both men and women. The reality is that she was driving with Playtex gloves on to protect her manicure from the inky residue of the papers she was flinging out the window of that shiny black Cadillac Escalade.

What a cruel joke. God gives us everything we ask for and then we ask for more. “Ask, and it shall be given you… For every one that asketh receiveth… Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?” (Matthew 7:7ish if I must proof text). In His infinite wisdom, He embeds karmic contingencies for which we did not plan.

I get it. I’m a parent. I want to indulge my children. Even so, sometimes my kids insist they can go to school without a coat and I comply only for them to realize that the tank-top/sandal option isn’t all that comfortable when it’s cold outside. I allow them to find out for themselves that a moment of sunscreen in the eye is preferable to a blistering burn. Then comes their next ask; “Why didn’t you bring my jacket? Will you please go get it? Can you tell the teacher to let me stay inside at lunch?” But, come on. Humans are fallible. Everyone knows that. Why did Jesus command me to ask when he knew how tricky his dad is?

A reminder:
Jesse had just returned from a 14 month deployment in Iraq. That’s how he was my recently heroed husband. Also, don’t be scared by my God talk. I don’t think I do it all that much and I’m certainly not out to convert anyone. I’m Episcopalian, for the love of God!

And now an update:
Jesse and I are no longer sponging off savings and manage productive, tax-paying lives. In fact, we weren’t really unemployed then, but “under”employed. So, don’t start sending the checks. Though if you are so inclined, I still haven’t funded my position yet.

4 thoughts on “A Bird Pooped on My Head

  1. Lane Boyz Mom says:

    LOL Your bird poop story had WAY more meaning than mine tho;) And it sure put things into perspective!! You are obviously the SMART blog twin;) LOL

    Off to read more before I have to shower:)

  2. Anonymous says:

    I love the fact that someone as together as you are (at least that how I perceive you) gets pooped on by birds. Or, bird. It’s nice to know that crap doesn’t only happen to me.


  3. Simone says:

    Too funny. My husband and I were going out for a drive in his old truck with the top down feeling oh so cool, when the skies opened up and it poured. Not so chic anymore. I’m glad you dug out that entry for us. Also good point about a reading schedule for the book club.

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