Cookie season is a major event for the girls in green. They love the excitement and enticements that accompany those sales. In Arizona, boxes are slightly more expensive because they offer so many scholarships to the girls. Last year, our troop sales were incredible and we paid for visits to Build-a-Bear, Rocks and Ropes, and Camp Creepenstein, as well as donating boxes of cookies and cash, and still they put aside a large chunk for later. I hate cookie season.

I have trouble selling the boxes, trouble chasing down the folks who ordered boxes, trouble getting money for the distributed boxes, and worst of all trouble with the self-control of the two adults living under my roof. But the season is here and tonight the Girl Scout leaders for the 7-YO’s troop launched into the various incentives for the girls, possible ways to promote the cookies, and the TONS of (annoying but necessary) rules. I hate rules. They confuse me.

Brownie Leader: You wouldn’t believe some of the things that have happened. For example, parents were taking the cash from the sales and writing bogus checks to the Council, so there’s a rule about that. Also, when staffing a booth, parents can’t stand off to the side smoking and yacking away.

Me: Well, I don’t smoke but the yacking sounds fun.

Magic: A friend of mine just returned from Brazil with a ton of slides.

Me: Oh, I guess I’d be interested in a slide show.

Magic: No. I mean we could take the cookie money and go to Brazil. HELLO?!

Okay, Magic didn’t actually say, “HELLO?!” to my face, but I would have if I were her. See? Rules confuse me. I’d like to take the cash, write a check, and stand off to the side yacking about Brazillion trips.

Redacted part where I propose purchasing cookies for personal, non-profit, and government uses, and paying in cash. Then I make a snarky comment that if my kid sells 3000 boxes ($12,000 in value), she gets a lap top.