Fruits and Their Labels

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I adore the look of Daryl Hannah’s website. I need to be idle rich so I can find my inner artist. But enough of my sour grapes. On her tips page, she gives the lowdown on figuring out if your produce is conventionally grown, organically grown, or if it contains genetically modified organisms. Such useful information!

It got me thinking about reproductive issues. Or it could be the desert brush (broom?) plant in blooming in the bird sanctuary, apparently a female. In nature, plant breeding occurs between sexually compatible organisms. Isn’t this the argument used against gay marriage? So, maybe I should be in favor of GMOs or should I be against gay marriage? Or is it possible that you can be in favor of abortion and against the death penalty or vice versa? Cognitive dissonance? False polars? I’ve always enjoyed thinking over seemingly conflicting beliefs. I’m getting away from my point.

My point is that if you are a huge company profiting from GMOs, then you should provide benefits to nontraditional spousal partners as well. No it’s not. My point is that if you want to know what is going into your aging body, the tiny bodies of your children, or the heart-attack-waiting-to-happen body of your husband, then learning to read labels seems an important skill. More importantly, would someone please give me a website and lifestyle like Daryl Hannah?

Husband Hunt Big Mammoth

I can’t believe I’ve been desperate for rain for so long, then today, the day I invited three sets of friends on a mammoth hunt with my husband, it poured rain. When we arrived at Jesse’s site, he and his crew of volunteers were tying tarps up to protect themselves and us from the rain while in the bone bed. Archaeologists have some quirky behavior that I can’t wrap my brain around, but their ability to deal with extremes of weather and large amounts of soil inspires awe.

Whereas we couldn’t help, but could greatly hinder the efforts, my friends and I set off with our children down the wash to the river. We romped in the San Pedro with the most fantastic Labrador who happens to be a member of my very own family. Once the cold and wet, by desert standards, beat us down, we walked back up the wash to Jesse’s mammoth site. He oriented us to the river and pointed out that the site elevation topped the cottonwoods that had just loomed over us.

Sitting on dirt buckets in the bone bed, Jesse showed us the mammoth tusk (and the scapula) as well as artifacts associated with the mammoth. He discussed the prehistory of the area, first Americans, megafauna extinction, and so forth. Then Jesse took us to a cut bank with an eroding mammoth tooth on display. Nearby was evidence of pot hunting, broken screens left behind by people who indiscriminately tear up these sites for personal profit. Rather than focusing on that, Jesse used the wall of the bank to demonstrate how archaeologists “look through the windows to the past” using marks like the black mat. Our finale took place at the Moson homestead, which retained its full foundation, including some of the ORIGINAL adobe brick that the rain slowly washed away.

We were cold and wet, but the snow covered Sierra Vistas were beautiful. Meanwhile, back in Tucson, everything is dry as a bone and all that once lived in my yard now crackles brown. But for a few glorious hours, it rained upon our heads ensuring continued growth.

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Black Friday: A Mad, Mad World

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My kids have their toy catalogs circled in fat sharpie. Family have requested the lists. I know at least two people who plan to get a 4 a.m. head start on Black Friday. Bah Humbug. Sigh, not really. I like buying stuff and I’m not immune to marketing. I’m thinking about my shopping to-do list too.

I will do most of my purchasing for kids at Kid’s Center, which is nearly the best place on earth. Their website isn’t that exciting, but their tiny store is incredible. Their sales staff knows every thing about every great, fantastic, spectacular toy and book ever. Kid’s Center is pricey, but soooo worth it. I’ll do a fair amount of shopping at other places.

A Greater Gift has a catalog of fair trade items from around the world. Purchases benefit the artisans directly. I have bought clever wooden puzzles and a few other things and have been pleased with the value and quality. It’s like shopping at the UNICEF store. For fair trade clothing, I shop at Fair Indigo. Think Land’s End with a conscience. Not much organic, but we all start somewhere.

Speaking of green choices, my sister-in-law Jennifer, the one in CA and not the one in TX, though I don’t think the one in TX would be opposed, just that I have two sisters-in-law named Jennifer and the one in CA turned me onto Greener Choices. It’s a Consumer Reports site that should aid in determining if a product is truly green or if it’s a green wash. The easiest green gift guide I have found is, of course, at Tree Hugger. You browse by the interest of the person on your list.

Heifer International has been my place to go for wedding presents of late, but not everyone appreciates a rabbit trio they don’t get to keep. Then again, if you are thinking of getting my kids rabbits, we would like to have them kenneled in another country. Donations to charities are perfect this time of year and great for the taxes in April. Speaking of which, I know a church in need of $90K towards their HVAC. You might be able to find their link to the left (the GSP website is temporarily down).

A Borton parent/pal, Alex, put me onto Etsy where people sell their folk art. You can even look at artists near you and purchase locally. There’s plenty of knitery, jewelry, and stuff you wouldn’t want. But there are also beautiful quilts, funky accessories, and, uh, stuff. I wouldn’t have a use for these gloves but you have to admit they are CLEVER.

In the past, I’ve tried to ask people to not buy us stuff. We don’t have the room, it sends the wrong message, blah blah blah, whatever my reasoning was. In retrospect, that’s a ridiculous selfish request because people like to give, especially at Christmas. Darned everyone’s generosity! I can only control my own choices and I won’t be fighting the crowd at the mall grabbing one of a million factory produced doo-dads that we “must have” and try to pass it off as specially chosen for the special people in my life. I will try to focus on the people on either end of my purchases – those from whom I buy and to whom I give.

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God Bless the Rain

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Did the prayer vigil work? Georgia got rain, but nine people in Tennessee were injured by the storm’s winds, including children injured by flying glass. Oh, and the storm also damaged the roof of a Baptist church. Georgia’s Governor Perdue said he wasn’t gloating, which I think is secret code for “nanny nanny nanny!”

Consider Luke 18:
10. Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. 11. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men [are], extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. 12. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. 13. And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as [his] eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. 14. I tell you, this man went down to his house justified [rather] than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

First, if God sent a storm because we asked for rain, did he also damage the church and hurt the children in response to our prayer? Call me unpatriotic, but I don’t think God works like that.

And B, what if Perdue focused slightly more on the fact that PEOPLE could have answered/prevented the prayer through less wasteful, more sustainable behavior? What if he asked forgiveness for his abuse of the gift God gave us? It’s telling that not enough rain fell to ease the trouble for Georgia. Perhaps more humility is in order for all of us.

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Dirty Undies and Holy Water

I adore the Tree Hugger website. I like to read about people who know how to properly administer a hug to a tree. Sadly, huggers leap and bound in sustainably green fields beyond my fence until today.

Can you believe this? Bjorn Borg’s dirty undies for peace!

This is almost enough for me to buy expensive Swedish underpants. The website is hot too. I wonder if I could do that with my website at work….

Here’s another head turner. Spiritual Water!

From their website:
About Our Product:
Spiritual Water: Crisp, fresh purified bottled drinking water that will change your life.

Spiritual Water was born as bottled water with spirituality, positive thinking, prayers, God, and beliefs. You choose which bottle fits your needs and your feelings, read the prayer, drink the water, believe in God – and in yourself – and the sky’s the limit.

Spiritual Water feature beautifully rendered artistic labels that depict full-color images of holy person or symbols, with prayers in English and Spanish and/or inspirational words and messages. The Spiritual Water comes in 10 different versions – each with its own uniquely paired message and image. Each time you drink you benefit from the soothing, appropriate prayers, for added uplifting inspiration.

Okay, it makes me laugh. How many Jesus water bottles can you fit in a landfill? Is God not in my CAP water? Why is God filling these water bottles and not Lake Lanier? That Trinity! Always more questions than answers.

And Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue will host a prayer service next week to ask for relief from the drought gripping the Southeast. “The only solution is rain, and the only place we get that is from a higher power,” Perdue spokesman Bert Brantley said.

That’s fine and good, but supposing God is playing bunco with the retired Greek and Roman gods who have tons of time. The game is just so darn fun and God is thinking, “They can help themselves for a while.” Wouldn’t it be a fine idea if we came up with plans that go just a itty bit beyond prayer? I say we shed this idea that God has given us “dominion” over the earth and instead found some gratitude for the beautiful blue globe he gave us, full of so many more gifts. If I were to spend a week meticulously creating a gift especially for someone, I’d get pissed to find it abused and discarded among the garbage – not to mention the fact that the garbage included images of my baby boy.

I think perhaps I could wash my “unsexy” undies in Jesus water and send it to warmongers (hmmm, to whom should I address the first pair?) and that would double my chances at a peaceable planet.

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Obsessing Green, Blue, & Red (but mostly green)

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I’ve modified this entry from my “other” blog. It’s old, but I was thinking about it recently and wanted to share.

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I haven’t read Walden yet. I don’t have to feel bad about that since I am a grown woman (I swear I’ll read it before finals). In some ways, I hope that reading Walden will heal me of my obsessions. Since that hasn’t happened yet, I’m detailing some of my adventures in moving away from consumerism, diminishing my waste, culling info from creative greenies….

One creative greenie I continue to go back to is the Little Brown Dress experiment. The new revolution in almost ready to wear from the little brown dress experimenter is to rehabilitate her crappy old wardrobe. Hey! I’ve got one of those.

Here’s a whole book about rehabbing those old t-shirts we can’t part from. I’ve been coveting this book, but can’t pay retail for anything. Plus, Urban Outfitter was a red company last I checked . Oh! I’m so going to see if I can find it at the library. Sorry Walden. SCORE! I have it on reserve.

I’d like to say that I wear and buy hand-me-downs. But that isn’t entirely true. I just bought two swimming suits, which in spite of the vanity that forced me to purchase them new, will make me look like an old lady. Even so, I like them because they are tankinis and therefore make going pee easier. I tried to pee in the ocean once, but got pee-shy. I guess I’m just a pee in privacy kind of girl, therefore tankinis are a practical purchase because they prevent UTIs. My regular clothes are gifts, hand-me-downs from my babysitter (thanks Jen), or … okay just one of those two things so my washer is of crucial importance.

When Jesse bought my new washing machine, I thought I’d finally found my soul mate. The clothes go in dirty and come out clean. The washer uses less than half the water my old one did and a fraction of the electricity. Glug. Thinking of it makes my toes tingle. I had no idea the love I could have for an inanimate object. And so you can’t imagine my exponential lust for my washing machine after we hooked it up to a gray watering system that keeps, among other things, my pomegranate bush flush.

Jesse puts up with my eccentricities, but tonight his mind boggled at the frugality of resources I managed. Though maybe he was humoring me. Here’s the story – I made baked rigatoni for dinner. I used the stockpot to boil the noodles. I rescued the noodle water and boiled eggs with it for tomorrow’s lunch. The water had already been boiling, so I didn’t waste any gas while the water heated up. Of course the egg shells were a tad slimey. Then I collected that next generation of water, and used it to water my nearly xeriscaped yard.

This behavior isn’t taken into account when figuring out one’s ecological footprint. Even so thinking about ways to lessen my impact upon the blue planet can take up the rest of my evening. It would be tragic for anyone to see me as a greenie. While I think green, I don’t behave that way. I need at least 10 acres and 2.2 planets to sustain my lifestyle.

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Shonto

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Shonto is Diné for the light that glances off a spring and reflects onto a canyon wall.

About 12 years ago I spoke with a member of the Hitch pig farming family in the Oklahoma panhandle about their use of the Ogallala aquifer and possible problems with seepage from the fecal ponds. I knew the water levels were down and I knew how Oklahomans depend on that water. As it happens, several states depend on that water. And so I became aware, even as I was assured that pig farming and ranching in general don’t affect the water reaching our faucets.

I chose this image of beauty with the aquifer circled in the center rather than a photograph of a pig poo swamp. You’re welcome.

As it happens, Americans use water at a faster rate than it can be regenerated or recharged. What happens in areas where human use has damaged the natural order of things and how long does it take for nature to recover? In my new home in the desert, most of my friends understand the challenges of potable water. When we accepted CAP water, we were assured that it was okay to drink, but warned not to fill our fish tanks with it. Entire neighborhoods here use “reclaimed” water that is transported in lavender pipes to water our landscapes, wash our cars, and so forth. But private golf courses will still use drinking water for their lush desert grass.

New Mexico governor and presidential candidate Bill Richardson recently was blasted when he suggested the Great Lakes, which hold 20% of the world’s freshwater, should truck their glorious resource to drought prone areas, such as the desert. It’s doubtful that even if the GL states were amenable that Canada would comply. We are interested in the use of other people’s resources, but not so much in sharing our own.

Kids around the world struggle with too little water. Check out this amazing gadget – the Q-Drum.

And here we are using water up in unforgivable ways – myself included. Water pours from our spouts while other people are thirsting. This thought needles me constantly.

Our toilets are responsible for 31% of our household water use. If you have an older toilet and allowing “yellow to mellow” grosses you out, fill a soda bottle with sand or rocks or water and drop it in your reservoir tank. It’s not like I’m asking you to go for this:

This is a composting toilet and it’s not entirely horrible. But it’s not a viable option for renters like me and I recognize Americans nearly universally will have a negative gut reaction to it.

I’m not into this corporate green washing crap. It’s true that I loves me some good ol’ timey material consumerism, but buying green may not always be the solution to our environmental problems. New appliances, new light bulbs, new windows, new water heaters, new everything and the old goes to the landfill. Our towns and communities can start projects like the reclaimed water some neighborhoods in Tucson have. We have individual options too such as collecting rain water or gray water for use outside. These options are as simple as putting barrels under your gutter spouts or allowing your washing machine to drain into a barrel.

You’d be amazed at the hidden water use in your daily life, just as you would the amount of oil used in your food production. You like beef? Livestock needs water. You enjoy new toys? Goodies require water in manufacturing. Take a look at your Water Footprint. I recommend the extended calender. What an eye opener!

I know I’m a hypocrite and I have to live with that. But I’m learning and over time I know some of this will sink in for me and I’ll make real changes. With the drought in Atlanta and water scarcities hitting us here at home, it may become forced upon me sooner than I can get my act together and do the right thing. Water is too cheap when we can afford to waste it.

*** UPDATED: To include Q Drum video. ***

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Trick? or Treat?

What do you think they stock the wet bar of a Prius limo with?

Limousine liberal is the pejorative term referring to rich lefties who spend little of their time, talent, or treasure with poor folks. I thought George Wallace coined the term, but whatever. Maybe it was Mario Procaccino. Anyway, what I wouldn’t give, on occasion, to be a limousine liberal in a stretch Prius in my fair trade, organic silk, onion dyed ball gown!

My diamonds would be from Canada or Arkansas. I’d be dripping with them. I’d have a completely edible facial treatment daily. Since my food must not be shipped over 100 miles, I’d fly to Hawaii for pineapples. I’d buy a house and level it for the landfill so that I can build a totally green house with those swirly light bulbs.

So, what is the point of a Prius limousine? Is it awesomely tricked out or to be treated like an absurdity? Would it be a treat to drive around or a trick to make us think we are good people?

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Halloween Isn’t for Bores

It looks like Brittany Spears has a new Halloween costume. I saw on Perez Hilton that she’s got those Hollywood leach lips. She’s also got a head start on her tricks as she ran over the foot of a photographer on her way out of the doctor’s office. Hmm, the mind reels with possibilities for dressing up to honor this inspiring falling star.

My favorite costume ever was bestowed upon me by my big bro waaaay over a decade ago and I’ve seen it plenty since. I taped a giant gift bow to my shirt and attached an over-sized card that read, “To the World: From God.” But then Jack assures me that he really thinks I am God’s gift to the world.

Jack is great at costuming because he never buys anything pre-made. He also adds a sick twist on his costumes. He might, for example, take something sweet and innocent like the Easter Bunny and make it sinister. He might give it vampire fangs or a thorny crown. Maybe that’s too sinister. Sorry Jesus. Thank God I can get forgiveness on Sunday.

Going along with my boring ideas about helping others and staying healthy and not polluting the planet, I hoped that my 30 friends, excluding Tom because he really doesn’t talk to me anymore, might get inspired and make costumes this year. Keep your money in your pocket and stay away from the vinal – unless you want to do some dominatrix stuff. You know, I don’t want to judge.

If you need help coming up with an idea, here are a few from Heckel on The Daily Camera:
* Smear black mascara under an eye and tape a pea to your chest. You’re a black-eyed pea.
* Wear all black, except for one arm. You’re the Def Leppard drummer’s severed arm.
* Duct-tape your body sticky-side-out and cover in popcorn and candy wrappers and look like a movie theater floor.
* Tape mirrors on your body, and you can be everyone else.
* Wear pink and tape a shoe to your head. Say you are used bubble gum.
* Instead of pretending you are a cat but are really just wearing your underwear and looking like a stripper, why not be honest? Be a stripper.

And I hope to see pix of each of you. You can post them here or on your own website, but let me see them. I’m thinking of being a soccer mom this year. Hold on… van, check, soccer balls, check, grassy socks all over the place, check, half consumed water bottles with flotsam floating in them, check. Oops. I’m already a soccer mom.

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Uses for Poo

The following is a list of uses for cow poo:

* Skeet shooting
* Fuel for cooking
* Heating greenhouses (Apparently cow poo is hot! Someone should tell Paris.)
* Mushroom cultivation (It’s my understanding, though, that mushrooms aren’t easily cultivated. It’s a fascinating niche of produce harvesting).
* Bio-gas
* AND FLOORING!

With a grant of just $5k, researchers at Michigan State created flooring made from the solid fiber in cow manure. The fiber would replace the sawdust currently used. Sad for sawdust, but good for the poo. It doesn’t stink, it doesn’t gush between your toes, and it’s equally lovely as cork flooring. Here’s a pic.

Such a much better idea than letting it fester in shit ponds and sink into aquifers.

We nurse at the teat, we feast at the shoulder, we sashay under the skin, and we live by the anus of our bovine buddies. I just read that we need less than one serving of red meat per week, but it didn’t mention RDA for dairy, leather, or bestiality. (My dad has a horrifyingly funny story about a pal who had a cow flop in his lowered pants.) Could anything be more blessed than a bovine?

Here’s the science-y part, you geeks. (From the Associated Press) Under pressure from regulators and the public, more large livestock operations are installing expensive manure treatment systems known as anaerobic digesters. The digesters use heat to deodorize and sterilize manure, while capturing and using the methane gas it produces to generate electricity. The systems also separate phosphorus-laden liquid fertilizer from semisolid plant residue. The solids have some known uses, including animal bedding and potting soil.

Scientists at Michigan State in East Lansing and at the USDA’s Forest Products Laboratory in Madison, Wis., are conducting tests on various types of fiberboard made with the “digester solids.” As with the wood-based original, the manure-based product is made by combining fibers with a chemical resin, then subjecting the mixture to heat and pressure. So far, fiberboard made with digester solids seems to match or beat the quality of wood-based products.

Okay, but how about we get rid of the chemical resins to be way greener? Has anyone told Ed Begley, Jr. about this?

Aside: I was flapping my yaps to a gal pal about how cool it would be to live off the grid. She said, “Oh, I know a lot of people like that. They are called Africans.” LOL. Okay, out of context, that is HORRID. She works in an orphanage in Zambia and really does know people who live off the grid. She was pointing out how frivolous my thought process is and it was FUN-nay. It occurs to me that some people live in cow poo houses that never underwent a sterilization process.

Here’s something to think about, should people who live in poo houses throw stones?